Ephesians 5:33. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

The husband must be strongest in family patience; bearing with the weakness and passions of the wife; not so as to make light of any sin against God, but so as not to make a great matter of any frailty as against himself, and so as to preserve the love and peace which is to be as the natural temper of their relation. – Richard Baxter – The Christian Directory

A Biblical Order in Marriage

There is a Biblical order in marriage.  The husband and wife need to have a trusting relationship.  There needs to be conjugal love in a marriage.  They must care one for another.  The man must take the lead and not put his selfish desires and wants first.  He needs to be patient, even when the weaker vessel is not so patient.  A man needs to bear the weaknesses and passions of his wife.  He does not make light of sin in his wife, but yet, he needs to not point out her weaknesses or frailties to others.  Charity will cover a multitude of sin and trouble in a marriage if it is exercised.

A Man is Very Selfish

A man is very selfish.  That is why the man is commanded to love his wife as himself.  If a man loved his wife as much as he loved himself, there would be a whole lot of loving going around.  But God puts it even one notch higher than that.  The Bible commands that a man is to love his wife like Christ loved the church and gave himself for it.  There is no greater sacrifice that has ever been made than the gift of Christ giving himself on the cross.  That is the ultimate goal of a man’s love for his wife.

Worldly Marriages are All Focused on Making “Me” Happy

There needs to be a preservation of peace and love in a marriage.  It needs to be the natural temper or disposition in the relationship.  When a marriage is not set on preserving peace and keeping things right, there will soon be problems.  The modern worldly marriage is all focused on keeping “me” happy.  That is not the way the Bible defines a good marriage.  It says the exact opposite.  It should be about making the other one happy, regardless of whether you are happy or not.  That is because the focus is on the Lord, for both husband and wife, in a Christian marriage.  They both meet at the cross.  When these things happen in a marriage it will be natural for the man to love his wife and the wife will reverence and honor her husband.  That is the Biblical order in marriage.